New loss

 I have to teach myself not to be so negative, and to also not let my insecurities get the best of me. I find it difficult to balance between my two jobs, my hobbies, and (just now another family business where I get paid to blog and advertise my stories and my books (which are every 12 blog posts then start a new one)), making time for Ted somehow, family, and my closest friends. 

 I want to spend time with my family, but traveling to my job and wanting the need to hangout is getting crazy. I try to spend time with my family, but the distance is making me feel like a hurricane. 

 I love Ted, but time will only show that when he said he won’t be like my two past relationships were, and it won’t have to be one sided, I can’t over analyze what he’s doing, or why he hasn’t been talking to me. 

 Talking to him will heal me being worried. 

 I just hope he is who he says he is and he isn’t playing me. 

 I love my family and I don’t want them to think that I have no time for them. 

 Whether or not, I do get married in the later years…My dad told me there’s someone for everyone, but knowing me-I wonder if it’s really true. I can’t stop doubting that maybe love is not meant for me. Sometimes, I think 70 and alone is good, but I think that 70 and having that person I’m in love with is also good. 

 Whatever happens, happens. I’m just going to go with the flow. Let it work it’s self out, and not think about it anymore. My heart hurts with some fears and sadness, but blogging for me is therapeutic. 

 I can’t please everyone, but all I can do is live life and have fun with the people I love and continue to work hard. 

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